Future Plans....

I wasn't sure what to title this piece. I settled for "Future Plans" because I felt that summed up the essence of what I'm feeling right now.
It wasn't until quite recently, within the last two months to be more precise, that I began to plan for the future. Set goals, make plans...simple things that are done every day, at masterful levels by some I might add--but to really understand what I'm talking about---come on Tolbert, speed it up---lol.
I like throwing in bizarre, out of context, or weird "dialogue" that brings you into my World. I'm such a tease...lol.
Anyway, when every fiber of your being tells you one thing, more than once, and if it's in conflict with what you are told, or with what you "observe," you start to question yourself. Am I losing my mind? Am I making a "mountain out of mole hill?" ...I think you get the point.

The answer is no. Those 'feelings" or "instincts" are our inner bells, warning us...."something ain't right."

I've started to listen to those bells. Bells I didn't trust, or better yet, refused to trust because I was being told one thing or another, and "their" version had to be the truth because of who "they" are....but truth is often bent and re-shaped for another persons needs.....*sigh*.....
In the long run...it doesn't matter. Even if what I'm feeling, feels like I've been thrown under a bus and left for vultures to pick and consume....it just doesn't matter.

I have to do what's best for ME. And me alone. And if that means cutting people out of my life, then that's what it has to be.....
I wish you well and I will send you good thoughts. I "f" you. "F" for forgive,....I forgive you but I will never forget.
I won't be whole for a while....but for now, I'm good. And that's not a bad place to be....I go forth knowing that I am blessed to be where I am...but most importantly, WHO I AM.
A man full of love, an open heart and a strong soul.

Some tough decisions are going to made soon......and again, it's for the better.